That verb/verb construction at the end of line 2 and beginning of line 3 is throwing me off a bit would "a tilting gull" work?
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as you see Bill had a few thoughts but think this takes care thanks for pointing outjohn
dawn -a gull tiltsshining light into my room i thought the discussion was interesting...this could be too simple? but i liked this haiku John, for its simplicity and often more than the sun birds are what i too see at dawn :)wishes, devika
nice onemuch lovegillena
That verb/verb construction at the end of line 2 and beginning of line 3 is throwing me off a bit would "a tilting gull" work?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteas you see Bill had a few thoughts but think this takes care thanks for pointing out
ReplyDeletejohn
dawn -
ReplyDeletea gull tilts
shining light into my room
i thought the discussion was interesting...this could be too simple?
but i liked this haiku John, for its simplicity and often more than the sun birds are what i too see at dawn :)
wishes,
devika
nice one
ReplyDeletemuch love
gillena