Thursday, June 10, 2010

day-daw -
a maw tilts;
sheens licht intae ma chaumer




dawn -
a gull tilts;
shines light into my room

6 comments:

  1. That verb/verb construction at the end of line 2 and beginning of line 3 is throwing me off a bit would "a tilting gull" work?

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  4. as you see Bill had a few thoughts but think this takes care thanks for pointing out
    john

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  5. dawn -
    a gull tilts
    shining light into my room


    i thought the discussion was interesting...this could be too simple?

    but i liked this haiku John, for its simplicity and often more than the sun birds are what i too see at dawn :)

    wishes,
    devika

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  6. nice one

    much love
    gillena

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