Monday, March 10, 2008

daffins govein
intae the burn -
teepical narcissi




daffodils gazing
into the stream -
typical narcissi

2 comments:

  1. ha!

    perhaps i would prefer it this way:

    gazing
    into the stream -
    narcissi

    it still implies everything without being too explicit

    ReplyDelete
  2. Or perhaps

    daffodils gazing
    into the stream . . .
    narcissus

    suggesting the moment when the connection is made.

    Your way is amusing, though. You just have a moment that gets us going!

    ReplyDelete

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